Suicide

In March 2010, my 37 year old cousin died by suicide.  He was one of the good guys.  You know the type of guy that adores his mam and his sisters, has a great group of friends that's he's had forever, actually likes hanging around with his Dad and Uncles.  The type of guy that stepped up to parent a child that biologically wasn't his.  Just a really good guy.  I was the same age as him.  My mam and his mam were pregnant at the same time.  His mam married my mams youngest and favourite brother.  My favourite uncle. 

I dunno if all families are the same but when I was growing up, every weekend all four of us kids would be bundled into the Hillman Hunter and we'd go to one of our aunties houses.  I grew up in Glasnevin.  My mams sisters and brothers scattered to the four corners of the northside so we had our pick of where to visit most weekends.  A lot of those weekends were spent in Dublin 5 with my uncle and aunt and their 7 kids.  My memories of my cousin are vivid.  We literally used to beat the crap out of each other falling up and down the stairs.  He had a shy demeanor but was well up for a laugh. As we got older I remember seeing him out and about (usually Blooms or Tomangos and my friends would also say "jaysus he's a fine thing" and I'd be like "ye I know, pity he's me cousin"!:-)  He was so handsome, the real looker of all the family. 

Nobody knew he was struggling.  He had gotten married only 9 months prior to his passing.  This scares the shit out of me.  How can we help people if we don't know they aren't coping?  Hearing the news that he was gone shook me to my core.  I actually don't know where the feelings came from. I didn't know him so much as an adult as well as I did as a child so it's not like we were besties or anything but when my dad broke the news to me, I sobbed like a child.  When I went down to his home that evening to try to comfort his family, I was appalled at the sobs that escaped my body.  I frightened my other half.  I frightened myself!

Suffice to say the next few days were shite! Just desperate sadness at every corner.  I could barely look his mam and dad in the face.  Since that day, many reasons have been thrown about as to why he did what he did.  The truth is, only he knows.  Nobody believes he suffered from depression beforehand.  Most believe he just snapped over something and couldn't see a way out.  I dunno, is it possible that one minute you can be thinking and acting normally and the next you snap and you end your life? I don't know what to believe.  How do we help people when they feel like this if they don't share their feelings? 

I've tweeted about this before but I believe we are in the middle of suicide epidemic.  More young people in Ireland die by suicide than die in road traffic accidents yet we have a huge Road Safety campaign on the TV and on the Radio and nothing on the same scale for Suicide Prevention.  It's time we tackle the subject of suicide in the same way.  Set up a Suicide Prevention Campaign.  A national campaign that swamps the media in this country.  We need to make it that you can't turn on a TV, or radio or read a paper without the type of in your face coverage required to take the stigma away from suicide.  We need to have quarterly updates as to how our rate of suicide is falling, the same way we hear how the amount of deaths on our roads is falling.  We need to show people in distress how to live through their distress.  That there are many others who feel as isolated and helpless as they feel and if they just hold on, maybe they will see a way out of their situation. The ads that tell us to look after our mental health are a start and getting high profile people to talk about their own issues also helps but I'm talking about getting a long running campaign going like the campaign that the Road Safety Authority runs all the time.  Pieta House is an amazing organisation but again, this is not a big enough organisation to tackle the mounting issue of suicide in this country. 

I just feel so strongly about this subject, even before the death of my own cousin.  I just wish I knew how I could play my part in getting this campaign up and running.  Any ideas?